People Watching

Airports are purgatory.  Millions of people, scuttling, rushing, biding, and fuming.  It's society in microcosm. 

Looking around, it occurs to me that people are doing everything possible to not be here.  They're speaking to ghosts, hundreds of miles away, while checking the weather, the news, reliving the past and worrying about the future.  Occasionally, a face shines out of the gloom, fully present and radiating curiosity and warmth. No one seems to catch their glance, or if they do, their eyes shift away afraid they might be selling something.

Recently the term, 'tethering' has entered the tech lexicon.  You can 'tether' your laptop to your phone, to use 3g or 4g internet connectivity.  It's great fun in the wifi wasteland of the modern airport, but it also speaks to a spiritual dimension of our society.  We tether ourselves to our understanding of reality.  We feel grounded, but that tether keeps us down.  We no longer look for compassion, depth, truth, anything at all, save the next distraction; the next fix on our fantastical road away from suffering.  We're walking in circles, tethered to, what passes, as our truth.

Zen the air.

Plane flights focus the mind.  You have no choice.  20,000 feet above the ground, control lost, and questions that will remain unanswered.  What was that bump?  Perhaps the engine shouldn't be making that specific crunchy noise.  Maybe, just maybe, I should have looked into a train. 

I still fly.  The anxiety is sometimes gut-wrenchingly palpable, but I do it anyway.  Places to go, things to do, but really, there is nothing I must do.

Zen fascinates me.  By delving into the thought of non-self, I force my mind to rethink comfortable patterns.  Who is this that says I am?  A conflation of blood, nerves and breath, or some sort of immortal impulse?  I am not I.

By holding up the mirror to consciousness I start to see that my uniqueness is an illusion.  I'm not separated from you.  The breath you take I breathe.  The distance we maintain, spatially, emotionally, and spiritually are all constructs of hurt minds trying desperately to make sense of glory--chaotic, mind bending glory.

I'm not there yet.  Someday, I hope gain enough wisdom and experience to see beyond myself into the oneness of being.  At the least, in the days and weeks before me, I hope my path can becomes less of an obstacle for others.  I don't profess to have any answers, only questions--but I guess that's the best place to start.

-Jason

Off to NAIS

i'm hoping that the next few days of experience will help me determine the future path for my career.  Headship looks like it would be a challenging, fulfilling avocation, with a great deal of room for divergent thinking.  Though I love music, I can feel the beginning of burn-out.  I either need to go full-out and search for a doctoral program or pursue headship.

A few questions remain:  Do I want to go the traditional route of division head- assistant head- head, or should I find a school that could use my unique talents. 

I'm slightly surprised, looking back at what I've been a part of the past two years, to realize that my fundraising experience is rather substantial.  Hugh has given me room to raise the money I need and explore methodologies.  Number one lesson: parents and community members are the key. 

Generally, I think this might be the right direction, but many questions remain.