Aspiring Head's Conference, Alanta

My first reaction- observe.  When confronted by a new experience my most common reaction is turtling--hiding, and seeing where the danger might be.  It takes a few moments for the  affable, gregarious side of my nature to kick in.  It's forced, but it looks natural.  All those years of performance do pay off at times.
Seems like a good group of people here.  No one too overt, but there is a bit of jockeying for some semblance of social structure.  Funny looks to be the currency of exchange.  Make em' laugh.
Now the much harder part for me.  In the midst of the chaos and the information, turn back to the breath and become present.  Especially now.  In these moments of insecurity.  Open the mind and the heart and listen.  Cool observation is a methodology that breeds cool response. 

Saving Miss Oliver's

Just finished reading the assigned book for the Aspiring Heads Fellowship.  A bit smarmy, but I think it accurately reflects the pressures and pitfalls of  a headship.  I think. 
Reading it draws me to think more carefully about my reaction to setbacks.  Do I have the necessary strength to exit a situation gracefully, or would I be a stubborn bastard?
I look back to experiences at my current school and can see a little of my own actions in each character.  I'd like to think I'm more empathic than the majority of the characters involved, but I'm probably self-delusional on that point. 
I am excited about the prospect of the personality inventory we'll get in Atlanta.  It looks as though it will be a refreshingly direct assessment from, I hope, really frank people.

Heading home

Part two of the Aspiring Heads experience.  I was extremely grateful for the feedback and information I received from the 360 degree assessment cycle.  It helped me come closer to a more holistic understanding of my own perceived faults and how they might factor into  a head search.
It's nice to know there are other ambitious people out there.  Sometimes I feel like the aspirations I have in my career are confusing to my colleagues at school.  They can't understand why I'd want the extra stress or the thankless work.  I finally feel like I'm able to articulate some semblance of an answer. I want to help make the future leaders of our world humane.  I want to be at the helm of organizations that see the transformative power of education as a tool for social engineering writ large on the world. I want them to understand, appreciate and embrace other ideas and cultures, reaping the benefit of our wonderfully amazing world. It can happen. 
I was so pleased with the diversity of thought I witnessed this week.  I have a renewed sense of hope.

Planning Time

My mind is turning once more toward the work I must do to prepare for a new school year.  Some of it is minutiae, frenetic little pulses of 'copy this' or ' find that resource,'  but the more interesting side of my planning cycle is the dreaming--those crazy new ideas I want to convince myself and others to tackle. 
This year my list is shaping up like this:

1.  Forcing my upper school choir to love sight-singing. 
2.  Helping the choir kids fall in love with Bach.
3.  Pushing for an arts week theme that incorporates art and money somehow.  Gotta make it catchy too.
4.  Pulling out all the stops for the Lessons and Carols concert.
5.  Heading out on a development ask with our new director.
6.  Building a new display area in the VPAC lobby and raising the money to do it.
7.  Preparing a tour concert for Spain.
8.  Getting the piano program off to a good start financially, while welcoming our newest faculty member.
9.  Convince myself to stop making so many lists.
10. Get back to regular yoga.
11. Get my materials search-ready.
12. Plan full faculty in-service and getting the Christmas party planned next week.
13. Helping out with the board retreat.
14. Remembering to breathe.
15. See number 14.

I'll add more as the year progresses.  Hopefully I'll also prune a bit as I see the circumstances change. 
So, that's the plan, but, as with all good plans, there could be changes at the drop of a hat.  Illness, death, joyful meanderings... life in all its wondrous, crazy complexity, all of it can happen to you.  When I look back at my list, the gradual paring begins and I remember that I didn't leave much room for love, and joy, and well-being.  That's what concerns me most about school life and eventual headship--pulling myself out of myself and experiencing all the beauty around me. 
As my life continues to unfold, I am reminded that joy, just like any other addiction, is habitual.  To experience it fully, I must continually return to it.  With that hope in mind, I amend my plan:

1.  Find joy in every circumstance.
2.  Be present in the midst of the joy around me and in me.
3.  Breathe.
4.  Repeat.