Letting go...

No one ever tells you that part of leading is the art of controlled disappointment. I have one of those jobs that is fast-paced, frenetic, and generally a blast to do. Really. I'm not making this up. I get to be creative all day long and get a paycheck at the end of the process. But sometimes, in the midst of that creation comes some sort of necessary demolition. Maybe it's disappointing someone's hopes, or having to end a professional relationship with a good group of people (or a bad group of people, as the case may be).

How do you tell someone that it's time to move on in the midst of seeming success? Things are running smoothly, everyone seems happy, but the underlying reality is the program and/or the people won't fit with the future vision or the new direction you're going. It's not easy. It's the part of the job they gloss over as you sit daydreaming in your educational leadership class, imagining yourself at the helm of a world-class educational institution, with a full head of hair, and no stress eating problem. Reality check.

So it's come to this: you've got to let them go. You've got a few options, first you can take the "I'm so sorry circumstances have moved us to this point" route, but most people can read the BS a mile away. It's insulting, and though it might be true, it's not about a faceless institution and its relationship to a human being – it's really about you representing that faceless institution and ending its relationship to another human being. Big distinction.

These events highlight the absolute importance of the present moment. You must never forget that you breathe the same air and occupy the same space. There is no you or them. The things that separate us are all illusory. Speak the truth. Speak kindly and directly, letting the space and the breath lead you to the next moment. It won't always be nice. Sometimes it will be a relief for everyone. But you must struggle to remain present and guide your actions from your own experience with rejection.

You can't necessarily make it better. That's okay. What you can do is honor their presence with your own.